Filed under: Uncategorized
well yeah, i’ll write in indonesian. again. cause i believe indonesia have more than enough insults than english. yeap. so here we go :
astaga. cuma itu yang bisa gw bilang. kenapa juga sih mendadak pembangunan busway yang udah berjalan lumayan lama ini suddenly sounds very-very annoying? gimana nggak :
- jalanan jadi jauh lebih keriting daripada bulu anjing pudel yang pernah gw liat beberapa waktu lalu. sumpah.
- mendadak kalo di jalan gw ngerasa waktu berhenti. gimana nggak? kaga ada yang bergerak samasekali gitu loh! (baca : macet total!)
- dan kalo pengen ngerasain off-road adventure, ga usah jauh” ke citarik segala. cukup ke daerah” pembangunan busway tahap II kayak roxy atau harmoni atau sepanjang jalan daan mogot. dijamin ga kalah ‘bergetar’ dari bajaj.
but most of all, ga ada yang ngalahin racun buangan kendaraan” yang mengalami ‘pemberhentian waktu’. serius. apalagi di daerah roxy. oh. i’m so speechless! panas ga kira”. macet (banget!). inget waktu gw ke roxy untuk ngurus matrix? oh ya. yayaya. selepas sumber waras gw udah ampir jadi dendeng. lewat rel kereta masih macet. begitu nyampe di depan ITC sonoan dikit, jalanan
watdefak?
itu soal jalanan.
now we’re getting back to the ol’ damn problem that i guess everybody had (or, at least, experienced) : love.
entah kenapa perasaan seperti ini bisa ada. it’s like a bit empty, wanted to love, wanted to be loved, and a mix of hold back. emang susah kalo udah mulai ada feeling terhadap seseorang. see, this is why i hate myself when i already had a certain sign of a crush. i become such a mindless thing. my mood just swings like hell. and tell you, it’s very annoying.
nggak bisa dihindarin kalo emang kenyataannya belakangan ini gw lagi punya ‘something‘. dan karena ‘something‘ inilah perasaan gw kacau balau. thanks a lot. setelah gw mulai adapt and feel comfy dengan my so-called-life, tiba” : duar. semua berantakan. emangnya enak tiap hari, tiap saat meskipun cuma selintas, mikirin terus? itu masih mending kalo cuma selintas. nah, kalo sampe seharian full cuma duduk diam di kamar, paling top nyalain komputer denger lagu (itu juga lagu” sedih atau yang mellow”) dan mikirin full seharian itu? bisa dikira udah gila kali. dan itulah yang sering gw lakukan belakangan ini. damn.
begonya, gw kadang menikmati perasaan kayak gini. yeap. menikmati. agak tersiksa emang. cuma anehnya ya itu tadi. menikmati. lucu ya? hm. try to be me and we’ll see if you could laugh after that.
and you know what?
i missed the ol’ days.
i missed the day when i didn’t have a clue about love after all.
i missed the day when i have my own love, not to worried to give to anyone.
i missed myself.
dan gw kangen jalanan jakarta yang sepi serta semulus pantat kebo. suer.
oh. lagi.
i need to stop myself from love.
seriously.
better : i need to stop thinking. sucks.
Filed under: Uncategorized
^^
V
*the
biggest
grins in my life*
oh yeah, i’m SO HAPPY today!
=D
[can’t stop laughing and smiling like a very stoopid person. honestly.]
Filed under: Uncategorized
when i think about something so-called-love, or care, or whatsoever people said, sometimes i get a bit sarcastic. hey, doesn’t mean that i don’t believe in love. i do. honestly. it just that… well, many people just fell in love, easily, and afterwards they realized that maybe it’s just a crush. ergh. silly. and they just left away like that. and that’s what i did. huff.
see, i was having a strange feeling lately to someone. but… this kind of feeling, is not the same that i used to have when i haven’t got a clue of a thing called love. i mean, it’s so different. kinda mixed with a yeah-so-i-love-you-so-what feeling. it just felt doesn’t right.
usually, when you fall in love (and i mean really fall in love) you will have somekind of a mood going out there. you’ll get extremely happy all the time you’ll be dead smiling, and it just feel like you got nothing to worried about. and i tell you, when someone’s in love, they have somekind of a shining thing. i mean, it looked sooo obvious! and now i don’t feel something like that. weird.
eventhough i tried to love, care or give a slightest feeling for that someone, it just feel…
it’s like okay, you like this guy/girl. and you do have a certain crush on him/her. you know you love him/her, and you do care about him/her. but that care feeling, love feeling, won’t come out. it just hide away or gone. snap. just like that.
is it possible because of the pain you got when you first believe in love and suddenly you got hit by reality? it caused so much pain, so even without you realizing it, you reject love. you despair love. no matter how hard you tried (in your consciousness, of course) it just… gone. many times you’ve repeated to yourself : hey, i’m okay now. it’s over anyway. i can love someone again. i want to love someone again. but it just won’t be the same anymore.
back to the top, sometimes i just get angry to people who, when they realized it just a crush, they will act like hey-i-only-had-a-crush-on-you-no-big-deal attitude, or i-only-dated-you-for-fun thing. d’oh? wake up guys! can’t you see, many people outside your filthy narrowed vision of love world is craving for love. they search for it! many people, who got hurt by love and by someone they loved didn’t recover! they want it so badly so that they could feel even a slightest feeling like it used to be when they fell in love! and you just act like hey-i-only-had-a-crush-on-you-no-big-deal? or i-only-dated-you-for-fun? geez.
and yes, i mean it. many people didn’t recover 100% from the pain they got from love.
and i’m included.
when you love someone, make sure you really love him/her. and make sure it’s because you want to.
i’m outta here.
.spoketheunspoken. 